Wednesday, September 26, 2007

M&M's: Evolution...or Eugenics?

I find this mildly disturbing:
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
Read the whole thing.

Sure, it starts with M&M's, but what's next...potato chips?
I mean--have you ever noticed that the Pringle chips are all identical?

[Hat tip: Hot Air Headlines]

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2 comments:

  1. AlexB2:11 AM

    THANK YOU!
    as a student of biology, more specificly evolutionary biology, i find nothing funny about this "joke." not only is it a complete bastardization of what evolution is (uh..no transfer of genetic material)...but it is, for some reason, mildly disturbing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Of course, if you want to go beyond mildly disturbing, there is a book out there explaining rape in terms of evolution as a need for propagating the species.

    ReplyDelete

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